Nocturnal Panic
by RenegadeOyu
Summary: Nocturnal Panic Attacks; a panic attack occurring while one sleeps. When Ed begins experiencing terrible nightmares and falls ill, things just go downhill from there. When one lacks sleep, horrible decisions and depressiveness ensues!"Don't drown in your own grave before you've even finished digging it." Rated M for language and future chapters
1. First Nightmare

**A/N; Hello Readers ^-^ Long time no write! So this is the first chapter of a fic I'm working on right now. I'm not going to post the following chapters just yet c; You'll have to wait a bit~**

His eyes closed, his breathing calm and even, Ed let Winry work. Her hands lightly working on his arm. He was laying on his stomach in a hospital bed after another brutal fight that had left his arm ruined. Again. Winry hadn't skipped out on giving him hell for it earlier.

It was just him and Winry at that moment, making the room almost completely silent, except for the sound of metal-on-metal fixings. He wasn't really sure where Al had gone, but decided not to think much of it. They were in a hospital.. What's the worse that could happen?

Ed had been dozing off here and there but he fought to stay awake. Despite being a mechanic, and kind of violent, Winry had a soft and comforting touch. Which didn't really help with the whole fighting-to-stay-awake thing.

With all the military work and fighting constantly going on, there wasn't much time to relax. So moments like these he tried to savour.

He suddenly felt her fingers trace on his back, right over a bruise, making him shiver and wince.

"What happened?" She asked, her voice sounding softer than usual.

"Do you really expect me to keep track of every injury I get?" Ed retorted in a slightly sleepy voice. He could practically hear her rolling her eyes. He wasn't about to tell her how he'd been hit by an automail arm (one about twice the size of his head). It was surprising nothing in his back had been broken. A cracked rib or two. No major injuries.

She went back to his arm, placing a final screw in place.

"All done." She said, letting out a satisfied sigh, admiring her work. She truly was proud of her automail.

"Thanks again, Win." Ed said. There was a slight silence as she made some final touches, tightening something here, polishing something there. Then she stopped, her hand resting where metal met flesh, tracing the tainted flesh.

"When are you guys coming home again.." She said so low he almost didn't hear her.

"Winry," He said. "You know we try to visit as often as we ca-"

"No I mean for good." She said. He suddenly felt something light and wet fall on his back. Water?

"I know.. I know. Not until you get your bodies back." Was her voice cracking? Ed pushed himself up and looked at her. She _was _crying.

"Win.."

"I just miss you." She said, wiping her tears away. "Both of you." She added quickly. He grinned.

"But you said _me_." She hit his non-metal shoulder and he laughed.

"Shut up." She could get angry so fast.

"I miss you too." He said. "Sorry- _We _miss you too." He laughed, earning himself another punch. But then his laughter faded and he took on a more serious tone. "We have to keep going, though. We have to do this." He said in a more serious tone. "_I_ have to. For Al's sake."

He felt something in his hand then realized it was Winry's. His eyes darted to hers but she was looking at the ground.

"Hey." He said, squeezing her hand to make her look at him. "What's wrong?" He looked into her eyes, watching her smile slowly appear.

"I have to tell you a secret." She said in a completely different tone of voice. She leaned closer to him and he felt the blood rush to his face as she whispered in his ear. "To be honest, I specifically missed _you_ more.."

_What? _Before the word could even escape his lips, Winry pressed her own to them. Was she kissing him?

… She _was _kissing him.

She was _kissing_ him.

She pushed the blanket away and climbed on the bed, sitting on top of him, looking at him with this intense look then leaning down to kiss him again. He felt a little self conscious, making out with a girl in a hospital gown. But honestly, at that moment, who gave a damn?

Yeah, he could deal with this new addition to getting his arm fixed.

Her hands were all over him, all over his chest and heading lower. She then took something from under the blanket. Rope?

Ed was about to ask what the hell she planned to do with rope, but she didn't give him the chance to.

She was choking him.

_Choking_ him.

Not in some sort of kinky way, either. No, she was trying to hurt him. He tried to scream but the string was completely cutting off his vocal chords and wind pipe. He was going to die if she didn't stop. He tried to pry the rope away but it was no use. He couldn't breathe. He could feel his head getting fuzzy.

He tried to push Winry off of him but she wasn't budging.

Ed sat up with a gasp and his hand flew to his throat, which was rope free.

"Brother?" Al asked from the other side of the room. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah.. Just.. Nightmare." He said, still feeling breathless. His heart was beating so damn fast. What the hell had that dream been all about?

He'd dreamt about Winry before but never that extreme. He'd never dreamt of her.. Touching him or anything like that. He'd also never dreamt about her trying to kill him. They were both new territory.

"Just a nightmare." He repeated, reassuring himself. It _had_ been just a dream. It didn't mean anything.

"Oh you're awake!" Winry said, poking her head at the door. She walked in and headed towards her toolbox on the chair in the corner.

"Anytime you're ready Ed." She said. "This shouldn't take too long. Unless you fall asleep again." She said, glaring at him. "At least wait until I _start_ to go to sleep so that I can actually fix your arm." She huffed.

"Yeah yeah." He said. He remembered now. He'd been talking to her earlier. After she'd calmed down about him practically annihilating her precious automail. He was pretty beat up and tired from the fight, and as they'd been about to begin he'd fallen asleep. Conveniently on his automail.

"Take your shirt off." Winry said, approaching him with the toolbox. A request she'd asked a many million times before, that had never bothered him. But as he took his shirt off he felt his heart pounding. Remembering how real it had felt.. Her fingers tracing his back. She went straight to work, analyzing what needed to be fixed. The whole time, Ed avoided looking at her.

"How're you feeling?" Winry asked as she screwed something off his arm. "You seem… Bothered."

"M'fine." He answered. "Just tired." He added, knowing his tone was nowhere near believable.

"Hey Al, I forgot something.. A specific kind of screw, do you think you could go look if they have some around?" She said, writing the name and brand down, handing it to him.

"Sure, Winry!" He said, taking the piece of paper and practically running out of the room. Al adored Winry, Ed knew that. He didn't know how much though. Winry was a subject they often avoided.

Winry went back to working on Ed's arm. "So, what's actually bothering you?" She said. "I know you never actually talk to me, you don't want to burden me, blah blah, but something seems to be bothering you a lot." She looked at him and he forced himself to look back.

"No, really Winry, I'm fine." He said.

"Must be why you're so tensed and anxious, right?" She said, going back to his arm. He grinned. She could read him so easily. He let his head sink into the pillow and took a deep breath, letting Winry do her job.

"How long are you going to stay in Central?" He asked.

"I'm going to stay until you completely recover for sure." She said. "I think then I'll go back home for a bit before heading back to Rush Valley." There was something in her voice. Longing?

"Don't you miss being home?" She suddenly asked. "Ever?"

"Of course." He said. "But.. I mean it's not really home anymore, is it? I don't think it can ever be home again." Winry had this ashen look on her face.

"What keeps us coming back is you. You know that, right?" He said. "You and Granny. the old shrimp." Winry laughed and Ed looked at her. "You guys are home." He said, closing his eyes and resting his head on the pillow again. He knew he'd said too much. He'd shown too many feelings, too much vulnerability. But Winry didn't say anything. He appreciated that.

"You sent Al on a fool's errand, didn't you?" Ed chuckled.

"I'm just worried about you." Winry said. "I know you won't talk with Al here because you don't want to worry him. But you can't always do everything alone. Someday you'll fall."

Ed grinned. "And when I fall I'll just get back up and keep walking." He chuckled as Winry went back to work, mumbling something about a big fat ego.

**^-^ Let me know what you think~ Kthanksbye~ I'll try to start posting the rest around February :3**


	2. Plague 61

**Yes! That's right c; I said february and ITS FEBRUARY! (Well depending on what time it is over there) **

**So I won't be posting ALL of the story now, because I'm having major writer's block :( But I will be posting bit by bit, and once the story's all written I'll post it more frequently c; **

**Do enjoy, good reader. Do enjoy! And ^-^ reviews are nice writer'sblock killers~ :D **

The dreams always started out the same. Well, almost the same.

It always started along the lines of him being sick, or injured, or in some vulnerable position. Then came the worried Winry, so sweet and caring. Then there was kissing (It usually went further than that, but we'll leave it at kissing).

Then she killed him.

Sometimes she choked him with rope, or clothes- even a bra at one point. Sometimes she stabbed him. Asphyxiated him. Poisoned him.

It always ended the same, cruel and brutal way.

Why he was having these dreams, he had no idea. But they were happening every time he fell asleep. The deep circles under his eyes were proof.

"I've been having nightmares." He'd told Al after the first few days. "Regularly." He added.

"Again?" Al asked in a worried tone.

"What do you mean again?" Ed asked. There was a bit of an uncomfortable silence. It's not like he often had nightmares. Well, he did.. But not _regularly. _

"Are they about anything in particular?" Al asked, trying to change the subject. Ed hesitated.

"Winry." He said. "I keep dreaming she's trying to kill me." He decided to leave the other parts out. You know, sexual dreams, not your typical brotherly conversation topics.

"I once had a dream that Winry and I were married, but not like in a lovey way, but in that weird dream way where nothing makes sense.." He said, going on and on, Ed waiting for him to get to the point. "And you were somehow our child, and we had to run errands in Xing, but yo-"

"Yeah did she slit your throat with a broken glass in your dream?" Ed said, getting impatient. "Or shoot you in the heart?"

"Sorry." Al said, sounding like a kicked puppy.

"No, I'm sorry." Ed sighed. "I'm just grouchy cause I haven't been sleeping well." He stood up to head towards Alphonse but his the room suddenly spun, making him lose his balance and fall back on the bed.

"Are you alright?" Al said, rushing towards him. Ed just grinned.

"I'm fine." He gave his brother a thumbs up. "Just light headed from being stuck in that damn hospital bed for a whole week." He got up once more, putting his jacket on.

"But really, Al don't worry I'm fine." He patted his brother's metal body.

"But if you brought it up, it must be bothering you.."

Ed laughed it off. "I'm _fine_, Al." He said, making his way out of the room where Winry was waiting for them. The dreams still made him feel a little awkward around Winry, but he hid it better. He had to.

For a hospital, they actually had some pretty decent food here. The only problem was their persistence of wanting to serve milk as a main beverage.

"Lactose intolerant." Ed lied as the lady gave him a glass of water instead. All three of them sat down at a table near a window. Not too close to anyone sick or possibly contagious.

Once he was sitting down and facing his food, Ed realized he wasn't really hungry. Okay the thought of eating this breakfast was extremely unappealing at that moment. He knew, from experience actually, that he would probably need his strength so he forced himself to eat anyways.

"So where are you guys heading next?" Winry asked. She looked genuinely interested as they explained to her, but he could tell she was holding something back. His mind went back to his dream, when she'd said she missed them. _Him_. And when she'd asked if he missed home.. He realized he was spacing out. Winry looked at him questioningly and he couldn't help but look away, feeling anxiety rising in his chest, which he forced down with a mouthful of eggs.

He couldn't understand why he was having anxiety now. He'd never had anxiety before. Nor had he ever been nervous around Winry. Or anyone.

The anxiety kept rising up.

Wait.. No, that wasn't anxiety.

Ed stood up and quickly ran out of the cafeteria, making it to the bathroom just on time to display his non-digested breakfast in the first stall he reached.

"Are you okay?" Alphonse asked from the doorway. "Brother?"

Ed was getting so sick (literally) of hearing those words. He straightened up and walked out of the stall, rinsed his mouth at the sink and looked at his brother in the mirror.

"I think you might be sick." Al said, placing a hand on Ed's shoulder. "Maybe you should go see the doctor, since we're he-"

"No, it's nothing." Ed said, shrugging his brother's hands off him. "Just some stupid stomach flu or whatever." He said. He knew what it _really_ was though. It was anxiety. He'd seen it in his mother. She rarely showed it, but she'd have anxiety episodes when he was younger. Too young for Al to remember. He'd probably just inherited a touch of it, which was probably even triggering these stupid dreams and his nervousness towards Winry.

"Come on." He said. "Winry's probably worried sick."

"She's not the sick one." Al muttered sarcastically under his breath.

Ed's entire body felt ten times heavier, but he ignored it. It was just part of the anxiety, he knew that.

"Are you okay?" Winry asked, looking worried.

"Of course I am." Ed said, walking ahead of them. After checking out of the hospital officially and leaving the damn building, Ed felt much better. The fresh air, the freedom. Central was alive and well.

So was he, until he got to the train station. His head began spinning again, his body feeling heavy.

"Ed, you're looking kind of pale." Winry said. "Are you feeling alright?" She was right next to him, but her voice sounded a thousand miles away. He tried to take another step forward but his legs decided to just stop working. As did the rest of him, seeing as everything went black, and there was nothing but a sharp pain in his head.

Her hands were on his arms, chest, everywhere, feeling his muscles and looking up at him, smiling mischievously.

"When did you get so big and strong?" She teased. Her blonde hair, usually in a ponytail, was down and.. God, she was gorgeous.

There was wind coming from god-knows-where, blowing her hair into her face as she leaned closer to kiss him. Their bodies were bare and very close, making Ed's heart pound crazily. He took a step to hold her better when he realized he was standing in some sort of puddle. Winry backed away from him, and that's when he noticed she was carrying a bucket of water. In one quick movement she threw its contents at him, soaking him from head to toe.

"Winry!" He yelled. "What's-" His eyes widened when he saw her take out a box of matches. That's when he realized this was not water.

She lit the match, her eyes watching the trail of fire for a few seconds. Ed turned and began to run. He looked back just to see the match hit the trail of gas that lead straight to him. He kept running as fast as he could, feeling the flames getting closer, licking his ankles. He didn't even hear his own screams of agony as the flames danced on his skin.

His entire body was burning, yet not completely. Burning but never completely burnt, so he could suffer longer.

Losing his own arm and leg hadn't even hurt this much. It eventually became so much that he barely felt it. Only an annoying searing warmth.

"He's coming to." Ed heard a voice say. He opened his eyes, feeling as if the light was literally burning his brain. He still felt the warmth from the dream, and a throbbing pain in his temple. He raised his hand to it, feeling a bandage there.

"How are you feeling?" The doctor asked him. Ed glared at him, challenging him to ask another stupid question.

"What happened?" He asked.

"You passed out." Al said firmly. "After you said you were fine." He was clearly pissed.

"You also hit your head." He added as if he didn't much care.

"Just.. Tired." Ed said, his speech feeling a bit slurred.

"Actually, we ran some tests.." The doctor began, his tone promising … Not the _best_ news. "I'm afraid there was more than just fatigue at work here." Everyone in the room was listening to him. "I'm afraid you've contracted plague 61."

Ed just stared at him. Everyone else just dead silent.

"You're joking right?" He laughed. He looked around, hoping the others would join in his laughter at the stupid cruel joke. But when no one laughed, when Al stayed completely still and silent, and Winry's hand flew to her mouth and her eyes watered, he knew this wasn't a joke.

Plague 61 just so happened to be the illness that had taken his mother away… And more than 61 000 people in less than a month. Thus the name Plague 61.

"Science is much more advanced than it was during the epidemic." The doctor began. "There are treatments, though no guarantee. But the chances of it killing you are extremely low." He said. Still, no one said anything.

Edward was actually sick. Possibly fatally so.

"Don't worry." The doctor continued. "No one has died from Plague 61 in six months." He said reassuringly.

"I'll try not to break the record." Ed replied sarcastically.

"Don't talk like that you idiot!" Winry said, hitting his shoulder. She was clearly pissed and worried. There was genuine hurt in her eyes.

Could this actually, seriously be happening? He laughed emotionlessly. How ironically depressing would it be if he died by the same illness that took his mother?


	3. Going Home

**I do sincerely apologize for the late update! I've been sick and lots of school work got in the way D; I already have most of the story written but am just unsure of where exactly I want it to go l: Chapter 4 should be up soon ^-^; Let me know what you guys think :D Reviews are GREATLY appreciated ^-^~ **

**Chapter 3 **

Plague 61 was not the most pleasant disease. It made him sleep a lot, every muscle in his body was sore, he couldn't keep any food in his stomach (not that he even wanted to, just the thought of eating made him nauseous). Oh, and the fever was kind of uncomfortable too.

He had never felt so sick in his life.

Al rarely stayed in the room which struck him as odd. Normally when he was sick or injured his brother never left his side. In fact, he rarely left his side, ever.

Winry had been bringing him food regularly, even though he didn't touch it, stealing his milk that he didn't even glance at. He's asked her if she knew where Al kept going, but she just shrugged.

"It's hard for him, you know." She said. "Seeing you like this. It reminds him of your mother."

Ed looked out the window, since there wasn't really anything else to look at except Winry and he couldn't bear that sad look on her face she always wore nowadays. He hadn't really thought of the effect this could have on Al.

"Doctor Munro said this was actually the worst case he'd seen in months." Ed said, testing out the words for himself. He felt Winry take his hand and stiffened, remembering that first nightmare. He pulled his hand away, maybe a little too harshly, and ignored the hurt look on her face.

"I'm not some child, Winry." He said. "I don't need you to hold my hand through this."

She didn't say anything, but he knew the words had struck her. _It's how it has to be. _He told himself.

"You don't have to go through this alone." Winry said. She started to say something else but stopped, as if she'd changed her mind. "I'm going to go look for Al." She said, realizing he wasn't going to budge. Her tone of voice was… Pissed wasn't even the word. Disappointed? Hurt?

The worst dreams, Ed thought as he looked out at the city, were the ones he didn't realize were dreams at first. The ones that left him crushed that it _was_ a dream.

The doctors had let him go take a walk on the roof to get fresh air.

'Letting' him meaning he snuck out when no one was around.

The sun was setting, making the sky ruby red. It had always been his favourite shade of the sky.

He hated being sick. He hated depending on everyone, making them worry. Sometimes he'd feel fine for a couple of hours, but then it came back even worse. He remembered that happening to his mother. It was the key symptom of Plague 61. The constant relapses.

He and his brother would be so happy to see her better for a little while. She kept getting worse and worse until she was finally fine for a week straight. They were so happy, all three of them, that it was done. It was over. The sickness was gone.

But they were uneducated in Plague 61 and the horrors of its relapses.

She died in her sleep a week later.

So these mini-recoveries didn't really comfort him. He couldn't really fully appreciate or enjoy them seeing as the symptoms usually came back twice as worse.

"Do you remember we used to watch the sunsets all the time back home?" Al asked from behind him. "All of us, even Dad sometimes." Ed winced at the mention of his father, but decided not to let it bother him.

"Hey, where've _you_ been all day?" Ed said, not taking his eyes off the sky.

"Here and there." Al said. "How are you feeling?"

"It's not so bad right now." Ed said. "The symptoms come and go, really."

"Are you still having the nightmares?"

Ed thought for a moment. "Yes." Al sighed.

"At least they don't seem to be as bad this time."

Ed paused. "What do you mean 'this time'?" He turned to look at his brother

"You really don't remember?" Al asked. "A couple of months after Mom died you started having nightmares." Now that Al said something, it did ring a bell. "Every night, too." Al added. "For about a month. You'd wake up screaming, sometimes crying too."

Okay _that _he didn't remember.

"You wouldn't remember anything after, too. I wasn't sure if you actually couldn't remember or if you were just pretending."

"Sounds like night terrors." Ed said, then straightened up. "These are just nightmares though, Al, don't worry too much. Okay?" They both stood there until the sun was completely gone, leaving only a bit of light left before the stars came out.

"We should go back inside. The cold can't be good for you."

"I'm not cold."

"You have a fever, you're not really an expert on temperatures right now."

"You're one to talk." Ed said jokingly, but he followed his brother to the door.

He paused at the top of the stairs as Al went down them. Something wasn't right

He grabbed hold of the railing so he wouldn't fall, balancing himself on his automail leg.

"Al.." He said. "Al!" His brother turned questioningly, then hurried when he saw the panicked look on his brother's face.

"What's wrong?" Al said, helping his brother balance himself.

"I can't feel my leg." Ed said.

It was just him and the Doctor Munro in the room. The doctor looked over some files quickly, the moving paper the only sound in the room. Except maybe for Ed's pounding heart. His leg was completely paralyzed.

He knew this wasn't good.

"The plague's final symptoms.." Munro began. "The later symptoms we see is always paralysis. Sometimes in the face, hands or arms, or, in your case, leg."

Ed let that sink in. _Final symptom. _

"Now this isn't a death sentence." The doctor continued. "Some people do get over the paralysis and then heal. But.."

"But most don't.." Edward finished for him.

"I don't want to discourage you, but this _is_ one of the most severe cases we've seen in a long time." Munro looked at him but Ed couldn't meet his eyes.

"There's nothing more we can do here." He said. "The medicine's done what it could."

"So it's just basically a wait-and-see type thing?" Ed laughed an emotionless laugh.

"I suggest you go home, Edward." Munro said. "Make yourself comfortable. "

"Make myself comfortable to die?"

"That's not what I meant." The doctor shot back at him. "But if this does end up worst-case-scenario.. Just be with your family to get better." The doctor stared at him. Al was his only family now. Munro squeezed Ed's shoulder and smiled reassuringly before leaving the room.

A few seconds later Al hurried in the room with Winry calmly behind him.

"What did he have to say?" Ed paused for a second, not exactly sure what to tell his brother.

"He said to go home." Ed said with an unsure smile, looking at Winry. There was a silence as Winry processed what he'd just told them. "The doctor said there was nothing else to do here but wait so.."

"I'll call Grandma and let her know." She said. Her voice sounded broken and Ed wondered if she suspected..

"Wait, so we can go home while you get better?" Al asked excitedly. Ed felt his heart break for a fraction of a second, but pushed the thought away with a smile.

"You bet'cha!" He said, grinning.

It wasn't Ed's first time in a wheel chair, but it _was_ his first time on a _train _in a wheelchair.

It wasn't all that fun.

Winry said nothing on the ride there. Al, on the other hand, couldn't stop talking. He was just so excited to be going home.

They got so caught up in finding the philosopher's stone and getting their bodies back that Ed sometimes forgot that Al was still a kid. That _he_ was still a kid himself.

Ed tried to feel hopeful about the whole situation. Besides like the doctor said. Some people overcame the final stage. Some did. _Some don't, though. _He added bitterly.

When they got off the train, Al and Armstrong got off first, walking a little ahead of he and Winry.

"You can't lie to Al like that." Winry said coldly. "You can't let him go about believing you're going to be okay. He's going to be so crushed when he finds out you're going to- … That you'll.."

She couldn't finish the sentence.

He didn't say anything, just lowered his head. He knew she was crying silently. He desperately wanted to comfort her, to wipe the tears away. But he couldn't. He couldn't get more attached to her than he already was nor could he be cruel and give her even more reason to be upset.

"That's not a guarantee." He said. He smiled. "There's hope, Winry."

_"The fresh air feels so nice in this town." His mother said, ruffling Ed's hair. "It helps." He knew she meant with the illness. _

He didn't fully understand how fresh air could help so much when he was younger. But he did now. After being trapped in a hospital for two weeks and a half, to see the green fields and feel the free wind on his face…

He thought of Al, who couldn't do that anymore. Couldn't go outside and have a breath of fresh air. That's why he was determined to see this through. He couldn't leave. Couldn't die. Not without getting Al's body back.

"What did the pipsqueak do to himself this time?" Pinako said the moment they all walked in, noting the wheelchair. Ed sighed. He didn't even have the energy to insult her back. She noticed. For half a second he thought he saw a worried look her her face but he couldn't tell because she quickly turned around and said angrily. "The room upstairs is all set up. And I don't care how sick you are, boy, I'm making stew and you are going to eat it."

Ed grinned. It was good to be home.


	4. Already Addicted

**I'm so sorry it's taken so long to post this n I haven't given up on this story yet, I assure you! I'm just still struggling with the direction of the story but I've got a pretty good idea now. **

**Anyways I hope you guys like this chapter! I'm not completely satisfied with it but I think that no matter how many times I re-write it, I'll never be fully satisfied so here it is! **

**:3 Feel free to review! ****(and by feel free, I mean feel obligated o~)**** : D Enjoyyy~ **

**Chapter 4**

Ed woke up drenched in sweat and his heart beating and if his sore throat would have allowed it, he probably would have screamed too.

_The dream had started out the same as the past few days'. Winry had come to find him upstairs. Kissed him awake. Fiercely. It felt even more real than ever. He knew somewhere in his mind that he was dreaming but part of him ignored it. Didn't want to believe it. _

_He tried to push her off of him, knowing where this was heading, but she refused. He felt something hard and cold on his chest. _

_A blade. _

_This is where things were different. Where she would normally turn crazy and killed him, he snapped. He pushed her off of him, off the bed. He got up and stood in a defensive stance. She looked up at him shocked, then grabbed the knife on the ground next to her and charged towards him, but he was ready. Weak, but ready. He dodged her attack easily when she jabbed at him, taking the knife from her outstretched hand. _

_She now stood in a farther corner of the room. _

_"You can't stop it, Ed." She said grinning. _

_"Can't stop what?" He asked, frustrated. She never talked in the dreams. And now that she did it was in riddles. _

_"Emotions aren't Alchemy, Edward, you can't just change what you don't wan-"Her eyes suddenly widened and she let out a small shaky gasp._

_Ed looked down and saw his hands were bloody. The knife, which he was holding, was planted in Winry's stomach._

_He stared, wide-eyed, as Winry looked at him, absolutely devastated, and fell to the ground, clutching at the knife. _

_"How could this happen?" She whispered, her voice fading._

Ed looked over to Al who was sleeping. Not really sleeping… He couldn't sleep. But his eyes were closed and his breathing was focused.

His dreams were horrible enough when Winry killed him… But when he killed her it was unbearable.

He got out of bed.

"Where are you going?" Al asked quietly.

"Just stretching my legs." He said. The paralysis had almost gone. But he still needed crutches. "I'll be back." He said to his brother before walking out of the room.

He went down the stairs as quietly as he could.

He headed towards the front door and tried to open it, dropping his crutch loudly and clumsily. He tried to reach for it but that was pretty much impossible with two practically disabled legs.

He was reaching for the crutch, almost touching it when someone picked it up for him. Winry. He straightened up, taking it as she handed it to him.

"Where are you going?" She asked, a slightly worried look on her face. But other than that, she showed no other emotions. She still seemed upset with him.

"I just want some fresh air." He said.

"It's two in the morning…" Winry stated, but Ed just shrugged.

"Fine, let's go." She said, opening the door and walking out, tauntingly almost. He followed her outside. It was slightly cold, but not unbearably so.

He smiled slightly when he saw her heading towards the rusty swing set they'd all played on so many times and sat down on the one she had rightfully claimed on the day it was set up.

He sat down on the vacant swing next to her, leaving his crutches on the ground. He could so much move around without them, and it's not like sitting on a swing required much movement.

"Are you feeling any better?" Winry asked. She kicked the dirt at her feet.

"Yeah." Ed shrugged. "I feel fine, really." Winry scoffed.

"You may have everyone else fooled but I know something is bothering you." Winry said after a while, keeping her eyes on the ground. "You never talk to me... But you don't have to. I know you." She kept her eyes focused on the ground, as if looking at him right now pained her.

Ed looked at her. "No, Winry, I'm sick, possibly dying, but nothing's bothering me." He said sarcastically, trying to slightly lighten the mood. He ignored Winry's glare. She hated him taking this so lightly, but what else could he do? Take it seriously and mope around until it got worse?

"I know there's something else..."

"I assure you there's only one illness." He joked.

"Stop playing games!" Winry snapped. "Stop lying to me." With that, she turned her eyes to his. He sighed.

"I've just been having trouble sleeping, it's no big deal." He tried to smile reassuringly, but he knew she wasn't buying it.

There was a long silence between the two. Edward looked up at the moon.

"I've been having nightmares." He decided to confess. Winry looked at him.

"Like before?" Winry asked, making him slightly angry. Did _everyone_ remember that except him?

"I don't know." He said. "They just…" He didn't even know where to begin.

"They just what?" Winry asked. "What are they about?"

"You." He said instinctively. Keeping his eyes on the sky, unable to look at her. She didn't say anything, so he continued. "It's always the same nightmare played out differently. It all has the same ending where you... Murder me." Ed sighed. "Or try to." He added, remembering the last dream. He felt almost stupid talking about it out loud. It sounded so irrational, like a child saying he was afraid of the dark.

"What?" Winry asked. "You're having nightmares about me?" She asked. "You shouldn't let it bother you so much. You know I wouldn't hurt you!" She said a little louder, standing from her swing. He took his eyes off the moon and looked at her. _Do I really know that, though? _He thought, not really knowing where the thought had come from.

"The dreams are just so vivid…" He said. "And they don't always start out as nightmares..." He said against his will. He didn't want to talk about any of this... But he needed to.

"What do you mean?" She asked. He couldn't admit it.

"Never mind." He said. "Just drop it."

"Edward, do not shut me out now." Winry said, suddenly standing in front of him. "You can't keep everything bottled up all the time."

He looked up at her, debating whether or not he should talk.

"The nightmares… Usually start out with you..."

"With me what?" Winry asked impatiently. "Stop beating around the bush!" She was clearly frustrated.

"It usually starts out more… Sensual." He said, hoping he wouldn't have to say more. She looked at him while processing what he'd said.

"What do you mean?" She asked. But he didn't say anything. He could tell she understood. Her eyes were full of questions now. Different questions.

"Why…" She began.

"I don't know." He said, hoping to change the subject soon.

"I think I do." She said after thinking for a bit. "I think you're scared of me."

Ed chuckled. "I know you're not going to kill me. Unless I'm dreaming."

"No- I think you're scared of me... Because you're in love with me." Edward laughed emotionlessly for a second knowing that what she was saying was true.

"Am I wrong?" She asked. "Look at me." He did and regretted it. Her eyes were full of hope and emotion.

"Yes." He said. "You are."

"You're lying." Winry said, getting closer to him.

"Yeah." Ed whispered before their lips met.

He knew this wasn't a dream, not only because she wasn't murdering him but also because this felt _real_. Her touch, her scent, everything. The dreams never felt even close to this.

He pulled away and stood up from the swing.

"No." He said and walked ahead of her, or pacing was more like it. Or limping, really.

"No?" Winry asked, bewildered. "What do you mean, 'no'?"

"I mean, this can't happen." He said. "You can't... I might actually _die_ Winry- I don't want you to get attached just to … Lose me, or worry, or-"

"Or what, Ed?" She said. "It's not like I'm not used to worrying about you all the time, not knowing if you're alright or even alive!"

She was right. He knew this. He knew she was strong enough. He realized she wasn't the problem. He was. _He_ was the one afraid of getting hurt. He was scared of getting attached and then disappointed.

He'd been stupid. It was too late to try and not get attached. He was already addicted.

"I don't know what you're so afraid of," Winry said, "But whatever it is, you need to let go of it. You can't keep going through everything alone."

He felt his hands shaking. This whole situation… He hated it. He hated feeling vulnerable. This situation, he knew, could go well. But it could end just as bad too.

"I am not going to hurt you." Winry said wrapping her arms around him. He didn't stop her. He just hugged her back. He had no way of knowing whether or not she _would_ hurt him. Winry let go of him and wiped her eyes. He'd be worried if she wasn't also trying to hide a smile. She leaned down and grabbed his crutches, handing them to him.

"You'll catch a cold." She said.

"That would be much worse than P61." He said jokingly, getting a punch from Winry. Why did she always have to hit him?

"C'mon." Winry said, heading towards the house. "I have to show you something."

They quietly crept upstairs to her room, (well as quietly as you can with crutches), which Ed actually hadn't seen in a long time. And it looked just like it used to; Pink walls and stuffed animals. Which was completely out of character, but Ed knew most of what was unlike Winry were from before her parents' death. He knew she couldn't let go of that part of her past.

The blueprints all over the wall were newer though.

He looked at them as he sat down on her bed. He watched her look through her drawer, which was full of pictures and papers and notebooks.

"Found it." She said taking a small picture and handing it to him. "I found it the other day and just... Couldn't stop laughing."

"Oh, God." Ed laughed. It was a picture of all three of them when they were younger. Flour on their faces and cake batter on the floor behind them. They'd tried to make a cake for Ed and Al's mother, but being 4… They couldn't even bake cookies let alone a cake.

He gave the picture back to Winry, who put it down on her desk.

"I missed having you guys here." She said, looking at him with a smile. He let himself fall back on her bed and just relax.

"You know, it's not really fair that your bed is way comfier than the guest room's." Winry lay down next to him, their arms touching.

It wasn't much, but it was enough to send jolts of electricity through his entire body.

He had never thought of Winry in this way before. Not seriously. He wouldn't let himself. Just looking into her eyes now felt extremely dangerous. Thrilling. He turned to look at her, apparently at the same time as her, their foreheads meeting.

"So, tell me, is this anything like your dreams?" Winry asked, teasingly.

"Not even close." Ed answered.

"Well, I can try to brutally murder you if it helps..." She laughed.

"No, I meant this is much better." Without a second thought he kissed her. As if it was just natural instinct. As if he'd always kissed Winry, as if it was just right.

Which it was.

She kissed him back, twice as passionately. He immediately got chills when her hand found the back of his neck. He held her waist and not for the first time he felt frustrated because of his automail.

Was it cold to the touch? Was it making her uncomfortable?

The anxiety and already-there-nausea were making a pretty bad mix and he pulled back.

"What's wrong?" Winry asked. He just closed his eyes. "Are you feeling sick?" He nodded, sitting up, which only made his head spin.

She nodded, understanding and put an arm under his, helping him up.

He felt absolutely humiliated as he retched, quite violently, over the stupid toilet bowl with Winry at the door, witnessing it all.

He couldn't throw up because there was nothing _to_ throw up. He felt Winry's hand on his back. He managed to get up, wiping sweat from his face. Winry took an empty glass on the counter and filled it with water. Ed drank it greedily, the cool water harsh in his burning throat.

"When was the last time you ate?" She asked. Ed shrugged. He couldn't even remember. He hadn't eaten for at least twenty four hours, if not more.

"I'll make you something."

"I'll just throw it back up." Ed replied.

"You need to try, Ed."

So that's how, at 4 in the morning, Ed ended up at the kitchen table with soup in front of him.

"It's just broth." He said, eyeing it.

"It's better than nothing." Winry glared at him. "Eat it."

It actually made him feel better. And he wasn't about to actually admit it out loud, but Winry was a good cook. Even if it _was_ only broth.

After he'd finished the bowl he looked at her.

"You want more?" She laughed. He nodded. She brought him back another bowl with vegetables in it instead of just broth.

They both ate quietly. It wasn't an awkward quiet, either. It was just peaceful. There were no lights on. They didn't need to be because the moonlight was enough.

Winry's eyes were closing, Ed noticed as he was finishing the soup.

"Sleepyhead." He said, nudging her foot with his. She jolted awake and kicked him.

"Why aren't _you_ tired?" She asked.

"I've practically been sleeping for the past three weeks." He said, stretching then standing up. "I'm not really tired, you should head to bed though." He said teasingly. "You'll drown in your soup."

"Ha _ha_." Winry said, standing up to follow him in the living room. Ed turned to face her and found himself taking all of her in. He didn't mean to stare or anything, but she was just so damn beautiful.

Her hair was down and she was wearing her usual day clothes. Which made him wonder if she'd been up all night. He was going to ask but she never gave him a chance to. Her mouth was on his and he wasn't necessarily fighting back.

They somehow ended up on the couch, Winry sitting on top of him. This felt scarily familiar and he felt tempted to pinch himself to see if he _was_ dreaming after all. But honestly as long as no one died, he didn't _want_ to wake up.

Her hands on him, plus the fever, gave him chills. He wasn't complaining. His hands rested on her hips, his grip tightening slightly in shock when she began to raise his shirt. Not that he didn't want this, of course he did, but something about it didn't feel quite right. Though he let her undress him. She slipped her own shirt off and Ed's heart began beating as fast as a hummingbird's wings. He still felt self-conscious touching her, but he didn't let it bother him. He ran his hand through her hair and rested it on her beautiful, soft and wet cheek.

Wait…

He stopped kissing her and pulled away.

"Are you crying?" He asked.

Winry shook her head and wiped a tear away, forcing a smile.

"No, I'm fine." She said, She kissed him again, but Ed stopped her.

"Winry, what's wrong?" He looked into her eyes hoping for answers but she just shook her head and went to kiss him again, trailing her hands on his chest, heading lower– but he grabbed her hands.

"Stop." He said.

"Why?" She said through sobs. "Don't you want to?" He realized what she meant by _"want to"_ and his heart nearly stopped.

"That's... Not the point." Ed said, trying to avoid answering. "I don't think _you_ do, so why?" He lifted her chin and met her eyes.

"Because..." She said, trying to find the words. He could tell she was getting frustrated. "We don't know how much time you have left and I don't want you t-"

"Hey, don't even finish that thought." He said, squeezing her hand. "I'm not going anywhere."

"But you don't _know_ that!" She said, a little too loud.

"Shhh." He said, because, honestly, if either Al or Pinako came downstairs right now it might get slightly awkward.

Seeing the hurt look on Winry's face was breaking his heart. He pulled her closer and let her cry on his shoulder. "Even if I _do…_ Leave… We don't _need_ to do... This." He said. "We don't need to do _anything._ Just having you here… That's perfect." He let Winry rest her head on his shoulder for a few moments longer.

"Do you remember that time when we were eight," Ed began, trying anything he could to calm her down. "It was raining, I remember because we were stuck inside and had absolutely nothing to do... and we decid-"

"We were so bored we decided to play hide and seek?" Winry said in a low cracky voice. "I remember."

"Al was the best at the game, could never find him." Ed continued. "He always found us. Anyway, I wanted to actually win, and I knew he was scared of the attic so I went to hide there but you beat me to it." Ed said.

"And then we heard him down the hall, you climbed up and hid with me, then we hid for almost an hour until Al gave up." Winry finished, her head still resting on his shoulder. "What about it?"

Ed played with her hair anxiously.

"That was the first time, in that crowded dark attic, that I realized I was in love with you." He said. "Well, you know, the eight-year-old version of love." He corrected.

He could feel her smile. He was glad he'd gotten her to stop crying. She mumbled something that he could have sworn sounded just like _I love you too. _

"We should go to sleep." Winry said, looking outside. The sky was getting slightly lighter. Ed nodded. He pulled the blanket he was leaning on from behind him and covered both of them with it. He felt at peace with her head laying on his chest. His arms wrapped around her.

"Goodnight." He whispered, kissing her head. He couldn't help but fall asleep with a smile on his face, knowing he wouldn't have nightmares tonight.


	5. Maybe

**Aaaannd here's a very short chapter because who actually sleeps at 2am? **

**Chapter 5 **

Al looked out the window. He knew this would eventually happen. He'd known since he was a kid that Ed was in love with Winry. Everyone knew it, really. Except for Ed himself. He'd always been too stupid to act on his feelings. Even now, from what Al could see, he was still being a stubborn idiot.

He watched as they walked towards the house then headed towards his bed, on which laid an open suitcase. It was empty though, and would most likely remain empty.

Al closed the suitcase when he heard his brother coming up the stairs. But Ed didn't come in the room.

Al stood by the door, waiting for him. For hours he hoped his brother would walk in the door and ask what was wrong. Asking why there was a suitcase on the bed. Then maybe Al would tell him the truth. Maybe his brother would help him, or stop him. Maybe.

But none of that happened.


	6. Dessert for the Love Birds

**Hello beautiful readers :3 Yes another chapter up within a week(ish), it's a miracle! ;D **

**Also, I'm debating having some Royai in the story. Or re-write some scenes from a royai pov? ^-^; What do you guys think? :3 **

**Chapter 6**

Ed woke up, confused as to why he was sleeping on the couch. He sat up and the memories (and the back pain) flooded back to him, making the blood rush to his cheeks. Swings. Winry. Soup. Right.

"Well it's about damn time you woke up." Pinako said from the kitchen. "Lazy idiot." She mumbled.

Ed looked at the clock hanging from the wall. It was made entirely of gears. He knew Winry had made it when she was younger. She had a particular style, if that made any sense in mechanics, which made it easy to distinguish.

"It's only eight you old shrimp!" He yelled back at her. "Isn't rest supposed to help me heal faster?"

"Yeah well if you weren't too busy 'resting', maybe you would have noticed that Al's gone." Pinako said as she walked out of the kitchen with a bowl of porridge.

"What do you mean he's gone?" Ed asked, his tone becoming more serious.

"He left earlier this morning." Pinako set the bowl on the coffee table near Ed.

"When will he be back?"

"Didn't say."

"Where'd he go?" Ed asked. His brother wouldn't have left without telling him. It just wasn't like Al.

"Didn't say." Pinako repeated.

"Why didn't you stop him!?" Ed stood, furious.

"He had a right to leave if he wanted." Pinako said. "He's old enough to leave the house without having his hand held."

Ed stood up and headed towards the front door where his jacket hung. His leg was killing him. The paralysis was gone now but there was constant prickling, which didn't really _hurt_ but it was annoying. At that moment though he couldn't care less. He put his jacket on and walked out the door, making his way down the front steps.

"You can't leave!" Pinako yelled at him. "Get back inside-"

He ignored her. He felt a tug at his arm and was about to push Pinako away (It's not like she was as defenseless as she seemed) but he turned to face Winry instead.

"You can't go." She said. "You're still sick!"

"Didn't you hear her?" Ed said pointing at the house. "Al's gone. I have to go find him."

"Ed you _can't._"

"I have to." Ed said, tugging away from her. "He needs me."

"No, he doesn't." Winry said in a small voice. He stared at her for a second, not saying anything. The words felt like somewhat of a slap to him. "Al can take care of himself, you know that." She said.

Ed sighed. As much as he didn't want to admit it, she was right. Especially considering the fact that he'd left by his own choice. He knew how to fight and it's not like he needed to find food or shelter. He could take care of himself.

But why hadn't he said anything before leaving?

"He wouldn't just leave like that!" Ed sighed. "I have to go find him."

"Come on." Winry said, taking his hand. "You're obviously getting better so we'll go look for him soon. I promise, okay?" Ed hadn't realized until she'd said so, but he _was_ feeling better. He hadn't even needed crutches to walk to the door.

"You're not giving me a choice, are you?"

"Not really." She said, dragging him back inside.

Friday of that week was the first snow fall in Resembool. Ed sat near the wood stove with Winry at his side, deep in thought. He couldn't get Al out of his head.

"He probably went to Central." He said to Winry. "I'm going there tomorrow." He looked at her. "I know you don't think I should but I have to." He shifted his eyes to the dancing flames.

"Then I'll go with you." Winry said, taking his automail hand in hers. He stiffened for a fraction of a second, hoping she hadn't noticed.

"What is it?" She asked, looking at him.

"Nothing." He said.

"Ed…" She pleaded.

"I just... Wish I could feel that." He said, squeezing her hand.

"What?" Winry asked, not quite understanding.

"I mean, doesn't it bother you, holding metal instead of flesh?" He shook his head and stood up. "I know it's no big deal, since I _can_ feel." He said, thinking of Al, who felt nothing physically. "But I wish I could feel you with _both_ hands." He said. "Wait, _no_!" He said realizing that he'd just sounded like a major pervert. Winry stood up. "I didn't mean it like tha–" But she ignored him and wrapped her arms around him.

"Do you feel this?" She asked, hugging him tighter.

"Y-yeah." He said. She pulled away and took his fleshed hand, placing it over his heart.

"Do you feel _that_?" He nodded, feeling it beat faster. She took his hand and placed it over her own heart. He felt the _ba-dum ba-dum _of her heartbeat matching his.

"And this?" She smiled at him. He pulled his hand away, turning around so she wouldn't see him blush like some schoolgirl.

"Being able to feel those, don't you think that's the most important?" Winry asked. "I know it's not fair that you can't feel with _both_ your hands but..."

"No," He said. "you're right. Thank you." It didn't make everything better but she was right.

Central was about as loud as always, not that Ed had expected any different. It was definitely more crowded than usual though. He realized why once they'd left the train station and stepped out onto the streets.

"Looks like a festival." Winry said. There were decorations everywhere of a traditional sun-and-moon symbol where the moon was within the sun, symbolizing a lunar eclipse. There were also street performers and venders selling merchandise.

"It's the winter solstice celebration." Edward said. "We should check the Hughes's house before checking in the hotel. Chances are that's where he went."

"I hope you're right." Winry said, about to take her luggage when Ed grabbed it and carried it for her without a word.

And right he'd been.

Alysia greeted Winry with a huge hug to her knees.

"Big Sister!" She squealed. Winry leaned down and picked her up in a tight hug.

"Winry! Edward!" Gracia said, opening the door wider. "Please, do come in!"

They did so, leaving their things at the door. The moment Ed walked in, a strong, delicious smell hit him making his mouth water.

"I was just taking lunch out of the oven." She said.

"We didn't mean to intrude," Ed began. "We were ju-"

"Oh, don't even worry about it!" Gracia said. "I'm guessing you're looking for Al." She said as she continued preparing for dinner.

"Al?" Ed said. "So he _is_ here!" He felt as if a ton of worries had been lifted off his shoulders.

"He was." Gracia said, giving Ed a sad look. "He and Maes left earlier this week. They should be back by tomorrow, though." She added with a smile.

"Where did they go?" Ed asked. He couldn't believe it! Just when he thought he'd found Al, he was gone again.

"Maes wouldn't say." Gracia said. "He just said he was helping Al with something and they'd be back before Friday. You guys are welcome to stay here until then!"

"Oh, we couldn't!" Winry said. "We've intruded enough."

"Don't be silly." Gracia said. "We'd be happy!"

"Please big sister!" Alysia said, giving she and Ed puppy dog eyes.

Ed sighed. They didn't really have a choice, did they?

"Here, let me help you." Winry said, helping Alysia to prepare the table. Ed went towards the living room, feeling as if all the energy had been sucked out of him.

What had Al asked Maes's help with? What was he up to?

"Ed, aren't you going to eat?" Winry asked worriedly. He shrugged and sat down on the couch.

"Not really hungry."

"That's right, I heard you were ill." Gracia said. "You don't look as sick as Al said though. You must be getting better." She gave him a warm motherly smile. He returned her smile. He got up to help them with dinner. He couldn't help but wonder about Al. Even if he'd only left about a week before, Ed missed him. He missed his brother.

So he forced himself to eat with the others, since he kind of _did _need to eat. Gracia asked them all kinds of questions like how had they been, what were they up to, how was Pinako and, My, Ed, have you grown?

That last one boosted his pride a bit too much...

Though no matter how well the day went, he was completely restless by nightfall. Not to mention that there was a bunch of noise outside, from people celebrating. Normally, by now, everything would be closed. But the winter solstice festival happened every year on the 21 of December. Though this year was an even more special celebration considering the fact that there was also a lunar eclipse which only happened every few centuries. To celebrate, the city was staying up until sunrise. Ed had often heard of and seen the festival but had never really participated. He'd never really had time.

"Can't sleep either?" Winry said, joining him by the window. He shook his head.

"I'm worried about Al." Ed said. "Where the hell could he have gone? What if he's in trouble?" Winry smiled.

"Stop worrying so much. You know Al can take care of himself." She said. "Plus he's with Hughes."

"Yeah." Edward said, keeping his eyes on the festival outside. "I guess you're right."

"They look like they're having fun." Winry said, nodding towards the crowd below.

"Yeah." Ed chuckled.

"Come on." Winry said. "Let's go join them."

"What?" Ed said, looking at her. That's when he realized she was completely dressed and ready to go. Shorts and a button-up white blouse and her hair was down. She looked like typical Winry (except the hair), but to him she looked striking. She always did.

Suddenly glad he hadn't dressed for bed yet, he followed her when she grabbed his hand and dragged him out of the apartment.

It was loud and chaotic everywhere. People were dancing everywhere and drinking and laughing. There were people from all over selling merchandise or performing, and the restaurants were all opened. It was a recipe for a crazy night.

They walked together, hand in hand. No one even took notice of them, they were mostly all caught up in their own happy drunken world at the moment.

Ed felt Winry squeeze his hand as she pointed towards some street performers. A man was swallowing swords and spitting fire. Her smile was so wide and pure, he couldn't help but smile himself just at the sight of it. They kept walking around the city, looking around.

"Floriography?" He heard Winry say as she stopped at a florist booth. He had a leveled cart with vases on them filled with flowers. "Look." She said, pointing at writing on the vases. "They each have meanings."

She was right. He read some of the meanings. _Orange blossoms; Caution. Yellow Poppy; Wealth and success. Red Rose; I love you. _He wondered whether or not he should get her some. He knew it would be pretty cheesy, but it was cheesy for a reason, right?

Then he spotted the perfect ones.

"I'll take a dozen Viscaria." He said to the vendor. Winry looked at him, eyes wide while the florist prepared the bouquet. Ed smiled and handed her the bouquet of purple flowers.

_Viscaria; Dance with me _read the small tag attached to the bouquet.

"What?" Winry asked, looking at Ed and laughing. A pure laugh of joy when he grabbed her hand and dragged her in the street where everyone else was dancing to live music.

Neither of them knew what they were doing, but it didn't matter. There was nothing else that mattered, just the two of them. Just the music. Just this moment. The pure, crazy moment.

Until Ed stopped. Someone in the crowd had caught his attention.

"What is it?" Winry yelled over the loud music.

"I thought I saw Al." He said.

"Kind of hard to mistake someone for Al, isn't it?" Winry said, giving him a weird look. "Are you feeling alright?"

"Yeah you're right. " But he hadn't meant Suit of Armor Al. He meant the _real_ Alphonse. With the gold eyes and hair. "I'm fine don't worry."

Ed shook his head. He really did need more sleep, didn't he?

He noticed several people looking up and pointing at the sky.

"Look!" Winry said, mimicking them. "The eclipse." Ed looked up at the moon and couldn't help but notice how magnificent it looked. He wondered if Al could see it, wherever he was. Without thinking, his hand took Winry's, and without thinking she leaned her head on his shoulder as they, like everyone else outside in Central, looked up at the disappearing moon.

There was cheering and even more drinking when it was over.

He'd noticed that the sky was pretty cloudy during the eclipse. He hoped it wasn't going to rain, because they were at least a good fifteen minute walk away from home and he couldn't really just _drive_ through the crowd. Not only because he, you know, didn't have a license. Or a car.

They walked around for a bit again until they found a small restaurant. It was a little fancy, and he kind of felt self conscious walking in dressed like he was. But it didn't really matter, did it? No one cared.

They sat facing each other, but not quite looking at each other.

"Thank you for the flowers." Winry said, still holding the bouquet in her lap.

"Dessert for the love birds." The waiter said, putting a fancy-looking whip creamed, ice cream-type desert in front of them.

"But we didn't order any dessert." Winry said. Ed was still blushing from the 'love birds' comment.

"Complements from the chef." The waiter said with a wink, leaving it at that.

"What was that about?" Winry asked. Ed shrugged.

"I made a vow long ago to never question free dessert!" He said, not wasting any time to taste it.

"That eclipse was really something, wasn't it?" Winry said, taking a bite of her own ice-cream goodness. Ed nodded, smiling at her. He bit his tongue before he said something too cheesy.

"Are you guys ready to order?" The familiar voiced waitress said once they'd finished their desserts. Ed turned around, stunned to see a smiling Lieutenant Hawkeye wearing the restaurant's uniform and holding an order pad in her hand.

"Lieutenant?" Edward said, unable to believe what he was seeing. "I, uh, didn't know you worked here?"

"I'm just helping out the owner." She said, pointing towards the kitchen. "He's an old family friend."

"So the dessert thing was your idea?" Ed laughed.

"The Colonel's, actually." Ed couldn't help but laugh even more at the thought of Colonel Mustang in a kitchen, trying to cook. He'd probably burn everything. Pun intended.

After actually they'd finished eating, paid and left a generous tip, they went back outside. It was past midnight for sure, but Ed had no idea what time it actually was.

"We better head back now, it looks like it's going to rain." Ed said. Not even a minute later he felt a drop on his hand. Drops turned to torrential downpour within minutes. He and Winry looked at each other before sprinting for the apartment. Though it was useless, because they were soaking wet by the time they got there. They stood at the doorway of the apartment, laughing, almost hysterically, trying to be quiet as they got in the house as to not wake Gracia or Alysia.

After telling each other goodnight, they both went into their respective bedrooms and went to sleep.

…Is what they would be telling anyone who asked in the morning.

Ed stood awkwardly in the guest room that Winry was staying in, not quite sure what to do. He didn't mean to be a pervert, but he also couldn't help but take the sight in front of him in. Her clothes were sticking to her skin. Not to mention that the rain had made her shirt slightly see-through. He forced his gaze away, feeling his face heating up, and mumbled something about showering before she caught a cold.

"You're one to talk." She said, moving his jacket off his shoulders. "You're just recovering." She looked up at him. "Help me." She said, her ocean-blue orbs digging into his golden ones. It took a few seconds to realize what she'd meant. His hands nearly shook as he brought them to the top button of her shirt, while his face turned a couple shades darker. He didn't take his eyes off of her as he undid the buttons of her shirt. Neither did she, her roaming eyes made him feel a little self conscious, but that thought left his mind once her shirt fell to the floor and his followed suit not long after.

After years of ignoring each other's feelings and being in denial, they greedily made up for it right then and there. This time no one was crying or dying. He felt Winry smile against his lips, making him smile as well.

"You truly are a fool, aren't you, Little Alchemist?"

Ed's eyes widened as he backed away from Winry. The look in her eyes was different. They weren't _her_ eyes. Her smile was mischievous and, again, not _hers. _

"You seem to think you've found this new love with no price to pay." There was no mistaking it. That was Truth's voice… Coming from Winry's body?

"What do you mean... A price to pay?" What the hell was happening? Was he dreaming? He hadn't had a nightmare in such a long time, he'd thought they were finally over.

"You can't gain anything without losing something else." Truth smiled. Or Winry did. Her appearance flickered. Sometimes it was Truth, sometimes it was Winry. "Equivalent exchange. Or did you forget about that little law?"

Ed thought this over. It wasn't making any sense.

"Emotions aren't alchemy." He yelled. "There's no equivalent exchange with people."

"Are you sure?" Truth smiled cruelly at him. "Your precious Brother, your newfound lover. You can't have them both."

"That's a lie. Al wouldn't leave me, and neither would Winry!" He yelled, but Truth only laughed over his counterargument.

"Fool! Don't you see? He already has."

_No._ Ed thought. _No, Al's coming back. _

_Are you sure about that? _

"Get out of my head!" He yelled at Truth. But the creature, no longer in Winry's form, let out another laugh and they were suddenly no longer in Gracia's apartment, but in the Portal.

"It's adorable how you think you can only gain from this situation, with nothing to lose." Truth still grinned, making Ed feel uneasy.

"He's right, Ed." He heard Winry from behind him. Al was next to her. They were both glaring at him.

"You have to choose between us." Al said. "You can't be with Winry and still look for our original bodies."

"Wh–" Ed tried to interrupt but they wouldn't let him.

"What if we decide to be together?" Winry said. "You can't keep getting into fights and nearly getting killed!"

"If you choose to stay home, who will get our bodies back?"

"What if we want to start a family?" Winry said longingly.

"What if she hurts you? What if _you_ hurt _her_?"

"Stop!" Ed yelled, holding his head in his hands.

"You have to choose, little Alchemist." Truth's laughter echoed through his mind.


	7. Second Sunrise

**^-^ Here is Chapter 7~ I hope you guys enjoy it :D **

Ed opened his eyes, breathing a sigh of relief. _It was just a dream._ He repeated to himself mentally. He was about to sit up when he felt something stopping him. Winry. He turned his head slightly, which was met with a mouthful of Winry's blonde hair. His left arm cradled her onto him, her head resting on his shoulder (which explained why he couldn't really feel his arm). Her back was bare, meaning that not _everything_ had been just a dream. He sighed to himself again. He was hoping he'd be done with the nightmares. Though, with everything he'd been through, he knew that was an irrational wish.

"What're you sighing about?" Winry said sleepily. "You barely just woke up." Ed shuffled her hair.

"Good morning to you too." He smiled. He sat up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, letting out a yawn. Until how long had they stayed up last night?

A better question was what happened after they'd gotten back... All he remembered was the undressing then... Truth.

"Was it another nightmare?" Winry asked worriedly. Ed debated telling her about it for a second then decided against it.

"No." He said. "I just had trouble sleeping."

"If you're tired then go back to sleep." Winry said, running her hand through his hair, making him shiver. Ed was about to reassure her that he was fine when he heard a familiar faint voice from the kitchen.

"I missed you too my lovely Elysia~!"

_Hughes! _Ed thought and threw the blanket off himself and got up.

"Hey, what gives?" Winry yelled.

"Hughes is here." Ed said, turning to her, noticing she was covering herself with the blanket. He hadn't thought that one through. "Sorry." He said, smiling sheepishly.

"Never mind that!" Winry said. "Go see if Al's here!" She smiled at him. "Wait." She said, before he opened the door, making him freeze. "It might be a good idea if you put clothes on first."

Ed's hand twitched on the doorknob. He'd been so caught up in the possibility that Al might be there he'd forgotten the fact that he was only in his boxers. That would have made for an awkward situation.

_"Don't mind me, your guest, just wandering around half naked in your house." _

He got dressed quickly and went to the kitchen. He was so relieved to see that Hughes was there, sitting at the table with Elysia on his lap.

"Edward!" Hughes exclaimed when he saw the alchemist walk into his kitchen. "Nice to see you, as always."  
>"Same here, Lieutenant Colonel." Ed said, smiling at the man.<p>

"Have a seat!" He said. "Gracia is making pancakes."

For an abstract second, while Gracia was cooking and Hughes was playing with Elysia, bouncing her up and down, Ed felt serene. He almost didn't want to ruin the feeling, but he needed to, didn't he?

"So when did you get back?" He tried to ask casually.

"Earlier this morning." Hughes said. "Around 3am maybe."

"So where's Al, then?" Ed asked, not caring if he seemed impatient anymore. He just wanted to see his brother.

"Actually I haven't seen him since last night." Hughes said, taking a bite of the delicious-looking pancakes. "Gracia said he left this morning." Hughes laughed.

"Left?" Ed felt his heart beat faster.

"Oh he's still in Central, don't worry." Hughes said. "He just likes to walk often."

Something was off about that last statement.

"Where exactly did you guys go?" Ed asked. Maes looked at the boy but didn't say anything for a bit.

"I think it's best if Al tells you that himself." There was a long silence before anyone spoke again.

"I'm going to go look for him." Edward said, finishing his breakfast. He noticed his nausea had faded over the days. His leg was definitely sore but bearable. He wasn't _healthy_ but he was _better_.

Maes looked like he wanted to say more but kept his mouth shut.

Ed glared at the man then turned back to go get Winry but she was already coming out of the room, dressed and everything.

"Are we going?" She said, walking past him and towards the door. Ed smiled. That was Winry for you.

Hughes suddenly grinned mischievously at Edward, making him feel slightly uncomfortable. He then got close enough so that no one heard the words he said to the young alchemist.

"Is it just me or did she come out of the same room you did?" Ed was pretty sure he was going to get some sort of blood-related illness from all of it rushing to his face so frequently in the past few days.

"'Kay we're leaving." Ed said, dragging Winry out the door, ignoring Hughes's laugh from behind them.

"What was that all about?" Winry asked once they were out of the apartment.

"So I say we start looking closer to here!" Ed said, not even letting it _become_ a subject to change.

They began looking everywhere they thought Al would be and then, eventually, just plain everywhere.

"I mean how hard can it be to find a freaking suit of armour in a city?" Ed asked glaring at the milkshake Winry had ordered for the both of them, as if it held the answers. They were sitting outside a small ice cream place, taking a break. They'd been looking all morning. Ed was maybe getting better, but he still didn't have as much energy as he was used to.

"Where do you think he is?" Winry asked. "Or what he's even doing there?"

"Knowing Al, he probably found some stray kitten or something and he's feeding it milk." Ed chuckled.

"You still didn't tell me about your nightmare." Winry said, looking at him. Ed sighed. He couldn't get anything passed her could he?

"It's not the nightmare that's the problem." He said. "It's the fact that whenever I get them, I seem to lose my memory. Mostly of the hours before I sleep. It kind of all blends in as one." He waited for her to get pissed at him for not remembering their night together, but she didn't get mad.

"So you don't remember falling asleep?" She asked.

"No." He admitted. "All I remember is getting to the Hughes' house and..." He didn't dare mention the undressing one another part, not knowing what had been a dream and what hadn't. "And that's pretty much it."

"You don't remember _anything_ that happened after?" Winry said, he could have sworn there was dissapointment in her voice.

"I'm sorry." He said, looking at her, but she just smiled back at him.

"It's not your fault." Winry said, resting her head on his shoulder. "It'll just have to be more memorable next time, won't it?" She said half-jokingly. His heart sank though.

"What... What exactly don't I remember?" He asked. "I mean what did we… We didn't… Did we…" He couldn't even ask the question. He already felt guilty not remembering…

"You really don't remember anything, do you?" There was no mistaking the hurt in her voice this time.

"Winry I really am sorr-" He began but she cut him off.

"We got back to Gracia's house, took the wet clothes off," He smiled a little at her blushing face and the fact that at least that had been real. "Then…" She continued but he had stopped hearing her.

There it was again, a familiar head of blonde, disappearing through the crowd. He quickly got up and ran after him.

"Hey, Edward wait up!" Winry yelled from behind him, but he had to catch up with Al. Or at least he hoped it was Al. He charged through the crowd and searched frantically for him when he saw the blonde boy turning a corner. He ran to the sidewalk and turned the same corner.

"Stop!" He yelled, and the blonde obeyed. _No, it can't be... _Ed thought. "Alphonse?" He said, his heart pounding. As the boy turned towards him, he prepared himself for disappointment when the too-familiar gold eyes met his. There was a moment of utter silence as the two of them stared at each other. _Could this actually be Al?_ It didn't look like the body Ed had seen before. His face had color and he didn't look _healthy_ but he didn't necessarily look like someone who'd been starving in the Portal for years either. His hair was shorter, but it also looked like Al used to cut it. And his eyes… No. There was no mistaking it.

"Brother?" There was the too-familiar voice as well. It really _was_ Al! "What are you doing in Central?" Al asked, a wide smile on his face. As if it was the most casual of moments. "I got back this morning, I was going to call-" Al stopped mid-sentence when his brother began running towards him. "E-Edward?" He asked nervously, but Ed continued, bringing his fist back, then with everything he had, connected it to Al's jaw, nearly knocking his brother to the ground.

"What the _hell,_ Al!?" Edward yelled.

"Shouldn't _I _be asking that?" Alphonse said, holding his cheek. "And did you _have _to hit me with your _automail_?"

"Where the hell did you go!?" Ed said, about to pounce at his brother again, but hands held him back. Winry.

"Let go!" He yelled at her.

"Ed, stop!" Winry said. "What's gotten into you!?."

Al looked at both of them nervously. Ed sighed. Winry let go of him, a mistake on her part, because Ed pushed his brother rather roughly, making him fall. He clearly wasn't used to his new body.

"Ed, stop!" Winry yelled, helping Al up.

"Thanks, Winry." Al said. At the sound of his voice Winry nearly dropped him.

"_Al_!?" She gaped.

"What the hell were you thinking running off like that!?" Ed yelled at the younger blonde, snapping Winry out of it. "Do you have any idea how _worried_ I- we were? And how... What... What's this!?" He gestured towards all of Al. "What happened?"

Al scratched the back of his head nervously. "I, well, you see I..." He smiled nervously. "I actually don't remember."

"What do you mean you _don't remember!?"_

"Ed calm down." Winry said. "If he doesn't remember, it's not his fault. Right?" She said, glaring at him. He glared back at her, hearing her threat.

"Why are you mad, Brother?" Al asked. "Aren't you glad I got my body back?" Hearing those words made Ed's heart ache. It's just that… Even if Al didn't even know how it had happened, there _had_ to be a catch. You didn't just _get a body_ _from Truth_. That didn't happen. Maybe that's what he had to trade for it, his memory. Who knew? All he really _did_ know was that there had to have been a cost and that's what pained him.

But being able to look in his brother's eyes... To read emotion on his face. He'd pay any price. And it was _his _price to pay. Not Al's.

On another hand he couldn't help but feel somewhat betrayed. They were supposed to get their bodies back _together. _Ed had always kept it at the back of his mind that if it came down to either him or Al getting their bodies back, he'd get Al's. But that his brother ran away and made the choice for himself, not even _letting Ed know_…

"How long have you had it back?" Ed asked. Al's hair was cut, his cheeks had colour, he was skinny but not dangerously so. He looked nothing like the body Ed had seen in the portal.

"A few days." Alphonse said smiling. "I'm still getting used to it." He said. "I can't walk very far or for very long, but..." He smiled, as if he didn't need to finish his sentence. They'd understand. "I'm sorry for worrying you guys." He said. "I just… You were so sick, Ed, and I was so scared that something bad might happen." He looked down, fighting back tears. "I knew that you could have died and I didn-"

"Alphonse." Edward said. _It's okay._ He wanted to say. But the words stuck in his throat. It _wasn't_ okay. He didn't even know what to say and he could tell that Al sensed this.

All three of them took their time walking back together, catching up on the past week. Al telling them how he'd come straight to Central, asking Maes to help him. He said he didn't remember much else after that. Just that they'd travelled pretty far. He had these weird dreams about his body and soul reconnecting and all but other than that he just remembered waking up in a hospital bed in his original body.

"That's crazy." Winry said. Ed felt that there was something Al wasn't telling them. He figured whatever it was, they'd find out sooner or later. He didn't really have much energy to argue and, really, wasn't the fact that his brother was back all that truly mattered?

Later that evening, Ed noticed the Floriography cart again while out for a walk. He had left after dinner, needing space to think. He was glad to have his brother back, but there was still something bothering him about the whole ordeal.

"Getting more flowers for your girl?" The vender said, recognizing him. Ed smiled and chuckled, not realizing he'd just been standing there, staring at the flowers for the past few minutes.

"Yeah, I guess." He hadn't noticed the night before, being a little distracted, but the florist looked… Nothing like a florist would. He was tall, muscled (not _Armstrong_ muscled, but _muscled_), dark skinned. He would look pretty damn threatening if he weren't selling flowers.

Ed began reading the tags for the flowers, wondering what kind of cheesy message he could give Winry. His eyes landed on some yellow Carnations, reading the meaning; _To remember. _

_Remember._ He didn't understand how, but this yellow little flower somehow triggered him to remember the previous evening.

_After years of ignoring each other's feelings and being in denial, they greedily made up for it right then and there. He felt Winry smile against his lips, making him smile as well. He shivered when she undid his braid and untangled his hair. She began walking backwards towards the bed, pulling him along. She was closer to the bed than she originally believed, or so Edward thought as she fell sitting down on the bed with a small yelp. He grinned and leaned closer, kissing her. _

_"Doesn't this feel familiar?" She said. _

_"You mean the swings? As I recall, _you_ were the one who kissed me then." _

_"Don't talk like you didn't kiss back." _

_Now that he thought about it, most times that something had happened between them... It was usually Winry making the first move, Winry being dominant. But now he was the one who had her practically pinned to the bed._

_"This is the second sunrise we see together." He smiled before kissing her again. Carefully, with his hand holding her neck, they gently lowered on the bed, forgetting the world they were in. Forgetting the waking sun, the ever-so-slowly dying flowers Winry had put on the windowsill. _

_None of that mattered or even existed. _

_He actually did have her pinned now. Not aggressively of course. His fingers interlaced with hers above her head. They'd both been holding back for so long, it was nearly impossible to stop. But he did. He pulled back. He knew he could probably do anything he wanted with her right then and there. Though he was pretty sure he was as under her control as she was his._

_"I love you." He said, looking into her eyes. She seemed slightly surprised to hear those words. Not in a bad way, though. She just hadn't expected them. He wasn't even thinking, just spilling. _

_"I honestly don't think I can live without you." He said. "You've been here for me since we were kids and… I know it's not the best time to get sappy but I just need you to know..." The words failed him. _

_"You know I'm yours." She said. "I think I always have been and..." She stopped, but he heard her unspoken words; _I always will be.

_They heard shouts come from outside as the first rays of sunlight appeared. He turned to Winry, whose eyes were closing sleepily. _

_"Do you want to sleep?" He asked. He expected her to nod, or shake her head, or a simple yes/no. He didn't, however, expect her to roll over and pin _him_ down. _

_"Not a chance." She was sitting on top of him, taking all of him in, as if unsure where to start. Ed's heart was beating crazily. _

"I'll take a few of these." He said, pointing to the Carnations. The vender wrapped them in a light pink paper and handed the flowers to him. Edward paid the man and made his way to the apartment again.

_Most of their clothes were long gone by now. It wasn't in a perverted or sexual way. It's just that they were so… In the way. Ed had never felt so at peace than right now, sleepily staring into her eyes. _

_"Why didn't this happen sooner?" He thought, realizing he'd actually said it out loud. _

_"Because you were never here..." Winry said, huddling her head on his shoulder. _

I'm here now_, he tried to say but sleep was taking over, stealing his words. He felt Winry cuddle closer to him as his mind faded into a world of nightmares and the hanging thought that it had taken near-death illness to bring the two of them together. _


	8. Apple Pie and Night Terrors

**A/N: Yes, I am actually still alive C: I'm sorry I haven't updated in weeks I just hit a huge writer's block for this story so I decided to work on something else for a short while (Which I may or may not post at some point, we'll see) But anyways ^^ Sorry if this chapter's a bit eehhh l; Like I said, I haven't worked on this in a while so I have to get back in the FMA mindset 3 But I am almost done writing it and should post the rest soon enough c: **

"I still can't believe it." Winry said, subconsciously staring at Al who was cutting up apples. They were making apple pie to help out Gracia with dinner as a thanks for the hospitality. Since it was their last night there, she was making a big feast. Including the keish she'd made on their first encounter.

"I know..." Al said. "I still have trouble believing it sometimes. Eating and sleeping… All that stuff. It's hard to get used to again. But then I feel the wind, or smell delicious food, or taste it!" He said, laughing and popping a piece of apple in his mouth. Wincing slightly, because of the bruised cheek where Ed had hit him. She still couldn't believe he'd done that.

"There was a time where I began doubting I'd ever get my body back." Al continued, looking down. "I knew there was a chance I wouldn't… And when Brother fell ill, I realized it was stupid of me to rely on him completely. So I decided I would do this one thing myself." He smiled. "Now he doesn't have to worry anymore."

Alphonse, the adorable, innocent little kid Winry knew, she realized, was growing up. Growing up and maturing quite a lot.

"It's nice to have you back." She said.

"Thanks." He said with an honest, purely happy smile. They both went back to cutting apples. "So, tell me," He said after a while.

"Hm?" Winry said, putting the cut apples in a bowl.

"What's going on with you and Brother?" He asked mischievously. Winry felt the blood rush to her face.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" She said, focusing her attention intensely to cutting the apples.

"So the way you guys look at each other now, I'm just imagining that?" He teased. "And how you guys are way more touchy-feely?"

"Yeah you're probably imagining it. Oh, look! We have enough apples, we can make the crust now!" She said over-enthusiastically, taking the bowl to bring it to the other counter, not even making it halfway across the kitchen and tripping over her own foot and going down, apples and all.

"Good job." Al said, laughing.

"Shut up." Winry said, picking up apple pieces. Al then leaned down to help her.

"Seriously though," Al continued, in a more serious tone. "There _is _something. Right?" He said, picking the final piece and putting it in the bowl then standing up.

"I… I don't know." She said.

"Well, _I _do." Winry just looked at him. "You'd have to be blind not to see that he's completely in love with you."

"We should maybe pick these apples up." Winry said, feeling sheepish. "We can't use them… So we might as well cut more."

Al glared at her before bursting into laughter and helping her pick the apples up.

When Ed still hadn't showed up for dinner, Winry began to worry. She felt so out of place with everything going on. She _knew_ Ed meant well, but he seemed so distracted all the time. He was clearly still having nightmares, but didn't talk to her about it. Were they still about her?

She and Al were sitting in the Hughes' living room. It felt so strange to have Al back. She couldn't help but stare at times. It had been so long since she'd seen his actual body. It was undoubtedly him though. The same eyes, same smile, hair, same Al.

"Winry?" Al asked, snapping her out of her thoughts. "You're staring at me." He pointed out.

"Sorry!" She said. "It's just so new to have you back. You must feel so relieved and happy." She said, giving him a good smile, which faltered when he didn't return it. "What is it?" She asked.

"There's.. There's something I haven't told you guys." Al began, looking at the floor. "I can't bring myself to tell Brother, but I can't keep it to myself for much longer." From the look on his face, Winry knew this had to be pretty serious.

"Does this have to do with how you got your body back?" She guessed. She knew she'd hit the target when he didn't say anything. "You said you didn't remember… You lied didn't you?"

"If Brother finds out... He..." His eyes met Winry's pleadingly. "You can't tell him! He can't know. He'd be so angry." Winry felt genuine worry. What could Al have possibly done that he'd so desperately want to hide from Ed?

"What did you do, Al?" She asked shakily. She wasn't the most educated in alchemy, but she knew a bit about the whole equivalent exchange thing. And the philosopher's stone. She knew of the horrors of alchemy. "You can't keep this all bottled up."

"If he finds out..."

"I won't tell him." She promised.

"It's not that bad..." He tried to say reassuringly.

"You can tell me." Winry tried to say comfortingly. She meant it that she wouldn't tell Ed, but if Al was in danger...

"I got help from Dad." He said. Winry was stunned. And relieved. Relieved because it didn't sound as bad as she'd originally thought it was. Stunned because she hadn't expected this. At all. Their father was a touchy subject. If Ed even ever let it _become_ a subject. He rarely talked about him, and when he did it wasn't exactly along the lines of _Oh, that god ol' father of ours, such a nice man. _

"How did you know where to find him?" Winry asked, slightly confused. "You guys haven't seen him since he left... Right?" More silence. "Right, Al?" She pressed on.

"I saw him three years ago." Al confided.

"Ed never mentioned that…"

"Because he doesn't know." Al said.

"What?"

"I've been writing to him." Al continued.

"Writing to who?" The front door closed, surprising Winry, seeing as she didn't even hear it open.

"Ed! You're back." She said, not quite sure what to do or say. When they were by themselves, it felt crazy and right and everything fell in place. But when others were around, like Al (especially him), it felt… Well, awkward.

There was a too-long silence between the three of them, Ed looking highly uncomfortable, Winry not knowing what to do and Al wondering how much his brother had heard.

"Are those flowers?" Al asked, breaking the silence.

Ed's face reddened.

"Oh, uh, yeah." He said. "They're uhh.."

"Are they for _Winryyy?_" Al teased, laughing when both his victims blushed. "I _knew_ it!" He glared at both of them triumphantly.

"They're not for anyone." Ed said stubbornly dropping them on the coffee table and walking out of the living room. "We should head back soon. Figure out what next." He said. Winry wasn't sure if it had been directed towards her or Al.

She took the flowers. They were purple and beautiful in abundance. There was a tag on them. She recognized the writing as the same from that Floriography cart.

_Rosemary; To Remember. _

Winry smiled. She knew this meant he remembered.

"Sorry, Al, what were you saying before?" She asked, feeling bad for ignoring the younger Elric.

"It's not really important." He said, smiling. Winry frowned.

"This conversation isn't over." She said.

"Are you going to tell him?" Al asked, with the fear of a child afraid of getting caught. She knew if Ed found out, and then finds out _she'd_ known things wouldn't go well. For either of them.

"No." She said. "No, it's not my business. I won't tell him. But _you_ should."

"I know." Al said. He fell silent for a while. "Winry, what if... What if Brother and I choose different paths?" He asked.

"What do you mean?" She asked. Though, by the looks of it, they already had.

"I don't know, really." Al chuckled. "I'm just... Over-thinking, I guess."

Winry tried to give him a reassuring smile, but it probably wasn't all that convincing. Al subconsciously touched his bruised cheek and Winry couldn't help but wonder what he was 'over-thinking.'

Seeing as it would have been pretty inappropriate for he and Winry to share a room again, Ed shared the living room with his brother instead. Neither of them had said anything to one another, which was actually just making things _reeeaaally _awkward. They had so much to say but no courage to say it.

"I'm relieved to see you're doing better, Brother." Al tried from the pull-out sofa. He looked at his older brother who was lying still on the sofa/chair thing. He'd offered to take the chair but Ed had just set himself down on it.

"I was scared you wouldn't." Still nothing. "Are you still mad at me?" He couldn't stand this silent treatment. He sat up and looked at his brother who was _still_ pretending to be asleep. "Come _on_! Are you really going to ignore me forever?" Al, completely furious and desperate stood up and walked up to his brother.

"Talk to me!" He yelled, grabbing his brother's shoulders and shaking them. "Edward!" Ed's eyes snapped opened and his hands immediately flew to his brother's throat, driving the younger Elric on the couch.

"Br…other..." Al choked, eyes wide with fear. Ed seemed to suddenly snap out of whatever crazed moment he was in and let go.

"W-what?" He said, looking around. "What just happened?" Ed said, looking terrified at his brother. "Al- I didn't... I thought..." He backed away and sat down on the couch. Neither of them said anything for a few minutes.

"You're having night terrors." Al stated, rubbing his now-red throat. "You told me your nightmares were getting better..." Ed didn't say anything. "I think you should see someone."

"I'm so sorry, Al." Ed said, dropping to his knees before the boy. Al wasn't sure if he actually meant that or if he was trying to change the subject. "I'm so sorry for everything."

Al didn't know what to say. Was his brother even fully awake and aware of what he was saying?

"I'm sorry for leaving without telling you." Al said. And no matter how weird anyone else might think it looked, he didn't give a damn. He lowered to his knees too and hugged his brother tightly. Something he hadn't even been properly able to do for years. He knew that anyone walking in would find the situation slightly odd. Both Elric brothers sitting on the floor, hugging one another with tears in their eyes.

"I'm sorry for hitting you." Ed said, separating himself from the slightly awkward hug. He took a glance at his brother's bruised cheek and looked away in shame.

"It's alright I guess I deserved it." Al said, bringing his hand to his cheek. "But I'll only forgive you on one condition." He said, glaring at his brother, who suddenly felt a little nervous.

"What condition?"

"Tell me what happened with Winry!" He said like an excited little child on Christmas morning. Ed looked away as his cheeks turned a slight pink, which was stupid considering it was pretty dark and his brother wouldn't notice.

"Nothing-"

"Did you kiss her?" Al pressed.

"No!"

"Liar!" Al teased. "Come on, Ed, you can tell me." Al said sincerely. Ed sighed and sat on the bed, Al mimicking him.

Ed felt like some high school girl, gossiping to a best friend about his love life. But... This was different, he supposed. This was his brother, who kind of counted as his best friend since he didn't really have _friends_ per se. So he told Al everything, leaving out the awkwarder parts.

"Well it's about _time_ something happened between yeggeww-" His words muffled by a yawn. Ed chuckled and ruffled his little brother's hair.

"Yeah, it's about time _you _go to sleep." He said, heading towards the chair and making himself comfortable. There were still so many more important things they needed to talk about, like exactly _how_ Al had gotten his body back, what he'd sacrificed…

But now wasn't the time. They both needed sleep for the next day's journey.

"Goodnight, Brother." Al said from the couch.

"'Night Al." Edward responded before closing his eyes and, for once, being enveloped in dreamless sleep.


	9. All is good

"Al if you don't get up we're leaving without you," Ed said, shaking his brother. He'd never known how much of a heavy sleeper is brother was until this morning. He supposed it had been so long since he'd been able to sleep that his body was catching up. It bothered Ed to see his brother this way, small and frail-looking. He knew that wouldn't last too long though. He'd already gained a bit of weight in the past few days and every day he walked a bit longer than the previous. Soon enough they'd train together again and everything would be good. Everything would go back to normal.

"Seriously Al, we're leaving in like five minutes," he said, enjoying his brother's sudden waking up.

"I'm up!" Al said, looking around frantically. "I'm up!"

"Ed, leave him alone," Winry said from the doorway, tying her hair up. "The train's just leaving in two hours."

Al glared at Ed, who ignored him.

"I'm going to see Mustang before we leave," he told Winry. "I'll meet you guys at the station."

He was about to plant a kiss on her cheek but he realized the teasing from Al wouldn't be worth it.

Finding Mustang was quite the task, considering he wasn't in his office and no one had seen him or knew where he was. It was on his way out that he bumped into Hawkeye.

"Fullmetal," she said with a small smile. "Good to see you're feeling better. Everyone's been worried."

Ed shrugged. He still didn't feel 100% his best but he was managing much better.

"That's what happens when you push yourself too hard," Hawkeye continued. "At least you got to rest, somehow."

Ed almost laughed.

"Yeah, there wasn't much resting."

Hawkeye gave him an odd look.

"Fullmetal, what brings you here?" Ed heard a voice say from behind. Colonel Mustang walked towards them.

"Colonel," Ed said. "I came to talk to you, actually."

He explained everything that had happened with Al. There was a moment of shocked silence.

"How?" Mustang shook his head.

"He doesn't remember," Ed explained. There was another silence as Edward let the information sink in.

"Hughes was with him but he doesn't know anything either," Ed said. That part probably bothered him the most. That Al didn't remember was one thing but that Hughes didn't know anything just pissed him off. He'd been there, hadn't he?

"So what will you do now?" Mustang asked. Ed shrugged. He knew that Colonel Mustang was really asking if he would keep working for the army.

"Go home and figure out the next step."

"What about you?" Hawkeye asked. "Are you still going to try to change your body back?"

Ed didn't have an answer to that. It seemed so minor now. Of course he'd rather have his real arm and leg back. But was it even worth it at this point?

"He said he would meet us here," Winry said, checking her watch. "I swear if he's late…"

"He'll be here," Al said. He was sitting on a suitcase, swinging his tired legs. Dragging his own luggage all the way to the train station had been so exhausting. He'd felt pretty helpless when halfway through the walk, Winry had taken his luggage on top of her own and carried it.

He supposed it was only temporary. He was about to give up hope when he saw his brother's familiar red jacket in the distance, waving at them to wait for him, as if they could go anywhere. They boarded the train with seconds to spare until it left the station.

It was a long tiring drive to Resembool but they eventually made it. After an excruciating walk home, Al was so happy to be greeted by the smell of home. He'd never realized what a specific scent it had always had. He also smelled something good cooking.

Naturally Pinako nearly had a heart attack when she saw Al in his real body. After a rather teary reunion they all ate the dinner Pinako had made. Al had never felt so satisfied and comfortable in his entire life. Back at home and in his body. His brother was getting better. Everything was perfect.

**A/N: YES HELLO. THE STORY IS NOT DEAD. A few weeks ago I accidentally deleted/lost everything I had written for this story and I was so upset and disappointed. But worry not! I will be rewriting it. I'm going to write all of it before posting again so it might be a while before the next chapter is up. A month at MOST. I apologize for like the biggest delay ever. ^^; Meanwhile I hope you like this small chapter until then.**


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